Success vs flowering

“Success” is a powerful word. So many lives revolve around it, chase it & sometimes embrace it only to discover later that it was temporary. I re-discovered the strength of this s-word recently. It was little over a year ago that that I started offering a workshop on technical leadership. Initially I had titled it “Understanding the facets of technology leadership” The response was lukewarm. Participants would say (not in so many words) “This understanding part is ok. But, where do we go from here?” After suggestions from my friends I changed the title to “Becoming a successful technical leader”. And then suddenly the interest level jumped. While the core content may not have changed much, it gave a purpose to the participant: “To be successful”

“Success” clearly belongs to the world of “becoming”. It is no surprise that so many books get written just by analyzing so-called “successful” personalities. “Success” is always a projection in the future. When it becomes “past”, the experience can be quite unsettling. Gary Kasparov narrates one such experience in his interview in Harvard Business Review (April 2005).

The greatest challenge for all successful people is to get past their own successes. It is especially hard when the success is extraordinary. In 1985, after winning game 24 against Anatoly Karpov, I became the youngest world champion in the history of chess. There was a huge celebration. I was feeling on top of the world. Then, in a quiet moment, Rona Petrosian, the widow of Tigran Petrosian, the ninth world champion and one of my great predecessors, came to me and said, “I am sorry for you”. I was incredulous. “I’m sorry for you,” she said, “because the happiest and best day of your life is over.” I was too young at the time to recognize the profundity of her words, but today I understand how wise she was.

“Flowering” on the other hand belongs to the world of “being”. Have you watched a flower? Do you think it is competing with the neighboring flower? Unlike “success”, you don’t ask a question, “How do I flower?” Flowering happens when you just “be”. It is no surprise that this f-word is not so popular. Human mind is so obsessed with “becoming” that it has no time for “just being”.

Where do you see “being” in action? I see it every day when kids are playing in the sandpit in front of our gallery. But then they don’t have to take care of family, they don’t have EMI and they don’t have to worry about looming downturn. And so life goes on… After all, don’t you want to become somebody?

Purposeful beings

Let me tell you a story of a woman who is now 70 years old. When she was young, say 16 or 17, she got married. Her husband and his elder brother were running a hotel. It was a joint family and big one. This woman took care of the cooking section of the big family. In due course, she gave birth to three children, two daughters and one son. For about 15 years, life went on smoothly till one day her husband and his brother broke their ties with each other. They were thrown out of the house.
Without sufficient capital to set up another hotel, they made iddly, vada, dosa, etc., at their house and the husband went out to streets and sold them. The woman who was taking care of a big joint family, it was not a burden to cook food items for their business also. Life moved on; they generated enough income to take care of their basic needs.
Carrying the food items, walking under the hot sun, and the distance had had cover to sell. all these gradually depleted his health. As a result, his blood pressure soared up. The work and the anguishing memory of the way he was ousted out of his joint family were high order stress for him. One day, on the road, he collapsed.
For dead ones, life was no more cruel. But for the living ones, it is different. The woman had to bear the brunt of this cruelty. She faced it squarely. Withstood the onslaught of life. She continued the business and took care of the children. The girls got married. The son got a job. For some time, there was spring in her life. She took rest from her business. But the cruel pages of life history, was not yet over. Her son somehow became an alcoholic, lost his job and returned home. The old mother had to start every thing again. Once again, she switched on gas stove, placed the vessels to make the food items, and continued her life journey.

Let me be frank. It is not a story. It is a true account. I know the family. Whats the strength of this lady which propels her to continue her life journey, however difficult it is? In a feeble and unassuming voice, she told me that she wants her children well of. I know it is not her strength. Her strengths are, 'not giving up hopes' and the 'fighting spirit'. But beyond all that, she has a purpose in her life. Her being wants to be useful and supportive to her children.

There are many such people in this country, whose being thrives in life with a purpose. They may not be heroes, achievers or famous people. But simply, they are purposeful beings.

Halasyam

Who cares?!

“Becoming” and its close cousin “Progress” have fascinated me for long. The way these two things have kept the human mind captive is really amazing. Every once in a while you come across a gem like this giving you a high. Here is a story taken from a book “Enlightened Living” by Ramesh Balsekar that makes you ponder on the latter i.e. Progress.

Every month the disciple faithfully sent his Master an account of his progress.

In the first month he wrote: “I feel an expansion of Consciousness and experience my oneness with the Universe.” The master glanced at the note and threw it away.

The following month, this is what he had to say: “I have finally discovered that the Divine is present in all things.” The Master seemed disappointed.

The third month the disciple’s words enthusiastically exclaimed: “The mystery of the One and the many have been revealed to my wondering gaze.” The Master shook his head and again threw the letter away

The next letter said: “No one is born, no one lives, no one dies, for the ego-self is not.” The master threw his hands up in utter despair.

After that a month passed by, then two, then five months – and finally a whole year without another letter. The master thought it was time to remind his disciple of his duty to keep him informed of his spiritual progress.

Then the disciple wrote back: “Who cares?”

When the Master read those words a look of great satisfaction spread over his face.